Bittersweet Life...

Sunday, December 31, 2006

so. it was hari raya haji today. wokidae. pretty alrite. coz it was at my uncle's place for a change. soo, i slacked with the cousins... haha. enjoyable bunch! we danced!, sang songs.. haha.. watched youtube..

and soon, say hello to 2007. so fast. really. im getting a lil bit terrified actually... with everything. school. life. future. the past. gosh.

those primary school days, though not very distinct, still becomes a valuable part of my life.

sec school days are the peak of my teenage life, i guess. those days were the times when me and my close mates were carefree, not caring abt the future. and just dreaming away wat lies ahead. it was so very simple then. when shit happened then, it was just a passing phase which we took as lesson learnt. all the laughters, the jokes, the pranks... goodness. im thinking back when fabian was my next door neighbour in class- as annoying as he is, he made lessons bearable. the rest of my classmates had their own character which my clique would sometimes made fun of. the squabbles among classmates are now jokes when we reminisced. we didnt even spare the teachers when it came to jokes and criticism. crushes on him, crushes on her... adored this teacher, despiced tt teacher... hated this subject, loved tt subject... thrashed the education system, loved the early releases for recesses(councillors)... i really grew during sec sch. i made myself stand out on my own then. i had high self esteem then. but all these are just memories, as there's no way for me to relish all that again, though i would very much love to.

next stop, poly. the most hideous switch yet. god knows how hard it was for me to cope when i first started out. the dumb modules. the ppl who i considered frens. well, shocks, sweet surprises, and hatred were all part of the 2 yrs of my poly life so far. this period was when i really learnt to pick myself up when i fell real hard. this was the time when i just had to keep everything to myself and pretend. facade was the all important agenda, everyday. i fell hard. and i fall again. this is the real shit. where it really hurts. lessons to be learnt, yes. but it's very bitter, yet, all u have to do is swallow and go thru the motions... though it's tough. i still find myself lost when im in school. as in, sometimes i feel there's no one for me. there's no one for me to turn to. no one tt i can rely on. no one to take time to listen to me. sometimes, i just need someone. but there's no one... however, im really grateful for my girlfrens, my irritating but wonderful classmates who bully my once in a while, for my cca ppl who are loads of fun and joy.

it's been a while since i let go my emotions. i feel much better.

2006... a year of unexpectance. a year of faith. a year that has passed by ever so fast.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 12/31/2006 10:03:00 PM

Saturday, December 30, 2006

hi allllll!

im back.

yea.. like who cares.

wanna post pics... but it ended up in a mess.. sheeesh.

help, anyone?

more talk abt the vacation later.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 12/30/2006 06:00:00 PM

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

well, to whoever tt's still reading my blog, im off to m'sia till the end of the week.

so till then, happy holidays and happy NEW YEAR to u darlings.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 12/26/2006 12:09:00 AM

Monday, December 25, 2006

MSN Messenger is being a bitch rite at this moment. i cant seem to log in.

watched love actually last nite. it was refreshing. the show really showed tt love was all around, though it was a lil bit dreamy. in all the different scenarios they potrayed, love was all about warmth and comfort. as much i wanna believe that, i just cant.

help me. i hate holidays. im stuck at home, with my parents ard 24/7. going on vacation to m'sia tmr till the end of the week. with them. argh. if they're any fun, i wont be complaining.

Smashed into pieces at 12/25/2006 03:09:00 PM

Happy Birthday to my dearest girlfren, Taslimah Bte Burhan- btw, btul kan?? hehhe..- u're FINALLY 18 now. lembab ah kau... hahha.. main2 je k..

have fun. enjoy today coz it's ur day. =)

may all ur wishes and dreams come true. may Allah murahkan rezeki. may Allah panjangkan umur. may Allah bless u. Amin.

Happy Birthday, girl.

=)

Smashed into pieces at 12/25/2006 11:44:00 AM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

gym with ema turned out to be us spectating a group of pakciks fighting, onli w/o parangs. haha. it happened at a coffeshop.

there were 3 of them.. the unhappy ones. uncle rep 1 and uncle rep 2 were not happy with uncle rep 3, i guess. UR1 was like flanking plates and cups off the tables. hahha.. UR1 and UR2 reached for their jackets, and so i tot they were gona leave the scene with the bikes. however, when they appeared back in my sight, they were dragging along their measly lil bikes. bicycles. hahha!! after shooting vulgarities at UR3, they walked away with their "bikes". and soon UR1 turned back cursing and swearing some more, all pumped up to attack UR3. BUT then.....

he fell.

hahha.. he fell!! he fell flat on his face along with his bicycle. hahhahha! it's like he's acting like some big shot gangster ready to charge, then, "GEDEBUB!" down he goes. hahhaha!! how malu, no? hahha...

i mean ive yet to see a group of mat reps or ah bengs fight. no offense. but.. hahha.. instead of watching these teenagers fight, i get to spectate pakciks pakciks fight, front row. hahha...! at an innocent coffeeshop some more!

it was definitely a treat tt made my day =)

Smashed into pieces at 12/24/2006 08:30:00 PM

greetings.

went out for brunch wit the family just now.

last nite, my mom went berserk over not goin to sleep. i wanted to watch tv. she made a fuss abt it. and im having my holidays. wtf. give me a break. arent u controlling most of my life already?

heading out to gym soon with emsie.

laters.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 12/24/2006 03:10:00 PM

Saturday, December 23, 2006

hello.

im back.

really im back.

=)

lemme see. where do i start.

life's been a screwed up lately. but ive been hanging on. like ema said, hang on to dear life. life has been so all over the place. so messed up. so wrong. so aimless. i feel so empty. i believe, however, goin thru all the motions will make me stronger in the end. it takes time. all i need is time. and distractions. it's been hard. those who know will know. i hate myself for going thru these shit. really. therefore, i shall try my very best to get a hold of myself, and learn to love myself again.

next.

there was a camp last mon to wed. it was M-U-N-D-A-N-E. BORING. well, 2nd and third day was fine. not as boring as the first. okla. fyi, i went back to npcc after a yr MIA. since there's no food, aisyah and i ordered McDelivery twice. 8pm & 2.30am. hahha. yes. 2.30 in the freaking morning. and the food arrive at 4am. we ended up eating at 8am coz aisyah was to zombified to respond to me. on the second day, adrena dropped by and she did us a favour by buying Macs again. haha. all in all, i ate 3 Mcspicy meals in 3 days. ad, how's tt for an aneroxic(sp?)...? hehhe..

squad gathering on thurs. wenta pasir ris park, where me and ad turned up late. had a lil picnic there. it's fun. although it's nth big, it was nice. playing cards games while munching down snacks and sandwiches. after tt, we wenta Escape, where tix are at 6bucks for a limited period. i think it is bcoz it's the anniversary or sth like tt. we took the rides. the go kart queue took up most of the time.

fri. wenta an interview at keppel shipyard, where i screwed everything up. it was for my attachmt, u see. since it was my first interview, i didnt know tt i had to do research on the company. i didnt know ANYTHING about the company. to make it simple, i didnt have the right or close to impressive answers to that guy's questions. hahha.. shaiful had a worst fate than i. hehhe.. btw, the trip there was exhausting. and scary. too many walking testosterone ard. it as deep into the heart of the industrial area where it was just so dusty and metal and not so gentle and frenly. before going home, stopped by Jurong pt to get some stuff, and TM too, to get my MNG top =) stopped by LJS to meet ad, siti and jeremy. and that guy has grown. really. hahha.. later in the evening, went out wit the family to courts megastore. i got myself an iPOD. after comtemplating between samsung, sony and iPOD, i went for the iPOD. 30GB baby! woahh!! and it's onli 428bucks... for 30GB. aint it a buy!

today, wenta johor. i hate when the parents just decides to do and that at the last minute. i know they're the parents. but hey, dun i get my share of opnions. imagine. being dragged out of bed early in the morning, and then being rushed to get dress to go over the causeway. nth much. reached home, decided to really work on my long un-updated bloggie. so here i am.

pretty lengthy post i must say. duhh.

noe_frizzy.blogspot.com is back =)

Smashed into pieces at 12/23/2006 09:52:00 PM